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Inspired by Ecclesiastes 1:1-11:
Vanity of all vanities, all is vanity! Cried the frustrated preacher, the son of David, King in Jerusalem.
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For all days on earth from the beginning to the end,
New person is born.
While person is alive,
Bug: devil kills person.
Person chose life or death.
If person chose life, person lives.
Else If person chose death, person lives not.
If person lives
I went to Mzimba District Hospital, normally you would find long queues. This day, I found the place empty with a lady in the out-patient department who clearly seemed to have been working and had just finished. The time was around 2:30pm. If they had gone out for lunch and come back at 1:30pm, a lady would sit in out of the examination room if there was a big crowd waiting to see a doctor. But then an empty opd at 2:30pm just means the crowd was gone in one hour!
That's a big improvement worth noting.
Now, one problem I noticed. When you record medical records in a medical diary, the past ailments influence the doctors decision on subsequent diagnosis. And usually this diagnosis is wrong and to the disadvantage of the patient.
Look, several diseases have very common symptoms some of these would be found in people who have chronic illnesses and some without chronic illnesses but under an infection or some other short-term disease.
But because he has had several illnesses with symptoms seemingly leading to chronic illness, it takes one doctor to make a wrong diagnosis and it will then be difficult for the rest of the doctors to change this diagnosis.
There is this say of medications to chronic illnesses that once started you cannot stop them. And once you stop them you are treated with a worse kind of stigma by your family members especially making your life worse that you would want to stop the medication. A kind of slavery to a medication. I don't like this.
How many chronic diseases exist? I think very few. Why not study these in detail so that you are able to rule out a wrong diagnosis? There is such information in vast amounts on wrong diagnoses. If to this day, I managed to break a chronic medication, its because I studied these in detail, looked at my personal experience and even had a full medical review.
After being prayed for by many preachers, trying various ways to get well and be off this medication which was now becoming more destructive than the illness itself, I resolved to just yield and go on with the medication. But if I was to take this for life, then I had to understand the illness I had. For all the while, nobody had told me for they thought being a disease of the mind, I cannot understand, yet from all the treatment I was getting, and the symptoms I was expected to have, there was no connection. I was more suffering from the side effects from the medication themselves than the disease and every time I went for a medical review, I was being asked only about these side effects than any symptom that was supposed to be my illness.
It made the appearance of me not having the symptoms of the illness due to the medication I was taking.
What if, I as a patient chose not to take this medication for life? Why should I have no choice on what treatment I can get? Why destroy my life earlier with side effects of the medication? What if I decided to die earlier anyway than suffer a chronic disease on top of that, side effects of the medication? It's my choice. Who suffers with my death? Me. For the rest of my relatives and society have already ruled out my ever being importance in the society.
I become like a living dummy, a statue, or a picture on the wall. Everybody takes a glance and passes by without a care. Who can miss it anyway if this statue fell down and was destroyed? None, it will just create more space for more important people. That's all it is to them.
Does anyone like being in a place and be treated as though he does not exist? I am very sure none.
I wouldn't either. So best, of my disease to die faster than die a slow painful death due to the side effects, than with the disease itself. Because 99.9% I am wrongly diagnosed, I have 0.1% living to my life expectation on medication and 99.9% living to my life expectation without medication.
Do you know what my life expectation is? Do you know how many years I will live? You don't. Only God knows. Did not God create me? Did He not raise the dead? Even raised up Jesus to eternity? He can raise me too from death to life and everything in between and today, healthwise, death is very far from me. Beyond a horizon. But who knows my roof can fall down and kill me even now as I write.
Of some reason due to all the political impasses some body just decide to drop a bomb over my roof as in Libya?
So my life expectation is with the range of seconds from now and 120 years. And maybe more if God wills. Do not limit my life expectation by putting me on a medication that limits my life without my acknowledgment.
It matters not whether you think I have the disease of the mind. For the mind suffers no disease but that which a body can suffer. If the body has malaria, the mind too has malaria, yet I just think and reason like everybody else. The only disease of the mind in which within this body I don't think is death. For even a person in a comma, has a well function mind though unresponsive for one reason or another. For when he does come out of comma, he is just like anyone else.
So, there is need to reconsider the way doctors have been making decisions on these chronic diseases.
I would like to study these and see what I can find out about each of these diseases for each seem to have some little and simple detail which medical research seems to have neglected for a long time indeed.
As I said, on my twitter, there have been very few innovations in the recent years. I would put the blame to the way education is delivered generation to another.
People like Isaac Newton and the rest of inventors had a very different style of learning altogether than what we have nowadays.
Maybe in mass education, we end up wanting everybody to be like everybody else according to someone else decision. More like Soldiers who are not supposed to think or question but obey an order as a master gives it.
That's bad.
So, I bought a tnm data bundle to use on my Nokia Booklet 3G. My plan is to put my tnm simcard on the booklet and my airtel simcard to remain on my HTC Legend. Not that TNM tariffs are any better, for Airtel's tariffs aren't good either and there isn't any good one yet. I have tried Access, they are not yet in Mzimba. And for MTL, I need a land line. I am wondering how easy will that be to get.
So, I bought me a TNM data bundle and I was not able to use it. I used the remaining units after activating the bundle but not the bundle itself. If I put the simcard on my HTC, I was able to use the bundle. Instead of just wasting the data bundle which I had bought to use on my Booklet, I decided to tether it through my HTC. But then, I can do that with any Netbook. So it will be useless for TNM to expect me to connect to the internet the complicated way. They might just as well make my use easier and user friendly. I am at least a computer engineer I can find my way around. But what about the ordinary user who is the majority of their customers? They would rather go for an easier choice that have to struggle with configurations, and call center that doesn't understand or attend to what I really want and on top of that, cuts me off before helping me get my problem resolved. Airtel isn't much different, so yeah, a bunch frustrating service providers who don't seem to listen to what their customers want? Spend the millions you spend on migolomigolo or pokopoko and the rest of them on giving me a real good service. I will be happy and I am sure you will get all the profit you want.
If you don't have expertise to fix your problems, I would be more than happy to pocket one of your 3 million Kwachas fixing your problems that make your customers unhappy to use your service and give you the required profit than give them away freely on my blog.
I just topped up with a K100 to activate my Airtel daily which costs K80 and I get a response of insufficient funds. I could blow that on phone calls but that's a 3 minutes talk which really like a drop of water on a thirsty tongue in a desert. I used to speak more than this long before Airtel. To think of the 56% slash, I don't remember it being effected. If people have not been complaining, they were being really rewarded for the airtime they have bought activating the data or voice bundles. And now the rewardz service, has been down and under maintenance for more than one whole month.
I think you guys are really taking us for granted.
"The Race Is on for Libya's Oil, With Britain and France Both Staking a Claim" - commondreams.org(http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2011/09/01-8#.TmDPz2LnAHs.twitter)
Of course, NATO and its allies goes on plundering world over looting and looting and looting. Almost blind to its actions and look how greedily it deeps its hands in the oil. Almost like, caught red handed.
CAUGHT RED HANDED
Blood is red and so is oil. I wonder why US especially drains its oil in the seas of its backyard and goes shed blood of others out there?
Oh, let's go on a race and create cars that will run on water. Oil sheds too much innocent blood!
Oh, let's harness the sun and drive our cars with it for when the water is gone, we will die of thirst and shed more innocent blood.
I hope the sun won't run cold too soon.
This world of ours is full of greedy hands caught red handed dipping themselves in oil and blood.
God save our World!
A complement worth sharing of Malawian Geniuses at this year's Google Barcamp(barcampmalawi.org) at Sunbird Capital Hotel, Lilongwe.
Here goes:
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "AlexS" <alexs07@gmail.com>
Date: 29 Aug 2011 10:31
Subject: Hello from Alex following the Google Barcamp experience
To: "AlexS" <alexs07@gmail.com>
Hi there,
As promised, I'm sending an email to you.I hope you enjoyed the Google
and Barcamp sponsored event two weeks ago,personally it's been the
highlight of my month so far! As one esteemed colleague said to me
during a break 'I can't believe how many intelligent and smart people
I've come across this weekend in Malawi all in one place!' I have to
agree with this. All of us who attended the conference are lucky to
have been able to be touched an inspired to really get our selves and
our various projects going,after seeing every talk from Aaron about
using Andriod Apps to young Josha and his new Nsima cooker invention.
Remember We are center stage and the time is now.Let's work together
to bring our ideas and technologies to the market place.I hope to keep
in contact with you. All the best in your ITC endeavours for this
month,chat to you soon!
Kind Regards
Alex
I have wild theories God has big mysteries.
Isn't the land of Cush Africa? How Blessed for the second river flows into your entire land.
Genesis 2:10-14 NIV
A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Ashur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
Just been considering my dreams, T.B. Joshua's water and Hydrogen Peroxide in the Water. I am thinking, the balance in T.B. Joshua's composition of H2O2 Wikipedia speculates to have healing properties. It's worth noting.
I don't know why God has allowed to make such a link, but I am sure he has reasons. For there is yet a thousand years of peace in our history before the world ends after that, the devil is released to be for a little while to be condemned into the lake of fire. With it comes new Jerusalem.
I believe, the thousand years are so that men may witness what God intended life on earth would have been like without the devil destroying it.
In the victories that God has made starting with Jesus Christ is the groaning that creation groans waiting for the children of God to be revealed. Such one revelation seems to me Hydrogen Peroxide and the many things it sets free.
Got a little bored staying in Mzimba doing nothing. Thought I could ride to my sister's in Mzuzu in a minibus.
Just as we were approaching Chikangawa, we got blocked ahead by a truck being pulled from an accident spot. Just a head is a pillar written Songwe 375km?
So, what might have happened here? There are many bends, there sign to indicate this seems to be way right near the accident spot. If a road sign was way back, the driver would know to be careful.
So, Songwe 3?? Km near Chikangawa. A curious driver going to mzuzu at night would indeed be surprised because he would think he is already near Songwe when he was going to Mzuzu. So he would reverse his car and look at the sign properly yet he will position his car for the headlights to lit up the sign. Maybe even walk out. To an suspecting truck driver who sees a car wrongly parked in the road which indeed he can hit. So avoiding the car, he will indeed roll over on the other side of the road.
The place has no phone signal, Airtel, at least. I don't know about tnm.
If the accident happened at night, very infrequently do cars and those that do pass, would think it has happened long ago.
The driver who might have stopped, would jump in his car and run away for he is guilty and would not think of telling someone till too late.
I don't know yet if the passengers were ok. There were people around picking up the spilt maize, some pulling the truck off the road.
I was just passing by.
I have attached a geo tagged picture of the place for those who can fix things like road signs and stuff.
Mh. So Libyans have fought for their freedom from the outskirts to the capital.
Of course, the sound effects and the bombings makes it an appearance of Libyans fighting for their freedom on TV. The Christians on TV have their way of looking at it: The part of Libya that is under the Libyan Rebels, is the one with majority of Christians.
Mh. We always have our ears towards what the west says. It always sounds gospel truth. Whether its war or freedom or peace. If its western, it sounds good and true.
So the rebel army has finally occupied the Capital. It makes me wonder you know, does that really mean victory? Why did they not occupy the capital then? Aren't they already in Libya? What could be so easy to do by the Libyans themselves?
Oh! I remembered. You can't overthrow a leader or claim victory until the whole country concedes and accepts defeat. The only way history has shown it legally acceptable: a coup d'état.
I wonder what's legal in it anyway? Because the west accepts a coup d'état?
Here is the reaction of the people on the ground. You have destroyed our roads, our schools, our hospitals, our land. Now once you have done rebuilding, get off our land! (middle east speaking, it won't stop. So please just listen and get off).
Why does the west supported rebels not feel victorious? Because, the can't show on tv that they have pointed a gun to Gadaffi's head. What they don't know is that while Gadaffi has been the accepted leader of this land, all that have removed him are still rebels indeed. The blood of the dead, the destruction of the roads and other structures still makes them guilty.
Because look, the masses in the rural don't care about politics whether democratic or what. What they care for, is that they have enough food today, and tomorrow, the children are not sick and have enough food and pocket money to go to school. That's what makes them smile. Which of these who one day have a peaceful afternoon just realise there is bombings outside and their children are dead. Which of these will remember the change of government to be useful? Which of these indeed will forgive the guns that indeed killed their little kids. Do you know?
I have observed how Malawians have reacted on 17th August 2011. Nobody wants such disturbances. Enough is enough!
So indeed. Big Dilemna. So clearly and TV seen by the whole world: guilty. Oil is the motive. Who doesn't know, oh mighty west. Please, put some love in your democratic ways.
Your search for your own freedom you have destroyed a lot of peoples freedoms indeed.
You are strong with big guns and too much money and shoot and buy your way through, but still guilty. Oil.
Look, our African cars are queuing for fuel, and blaming their leaders while you have put a tap on the oil wells you have illegally occupied.
Can we re-define freedom again to what it means? To live freely in your own country, village, home. The degree of freedom, increases inwards but reduces outwards, always! When it does increase outwards its necessarily infringing others' freedoms that is illegal.
To control illegal freedoms there are laws that are at best agreed upon by the neighbours. The whole community does indeed decide at micro-level chose who enforces these laws. The only who can do this best, is the one they have all together trusted to do so.
You may cook up lies and force yourselves to lead but indeed nobody will listen to your judgements though in face they may behave like they are. For you are just not the one they trust to resolve their disagreements. That's all! You are just not their leader. You do not have their trust. Funny huh?
Whether the law fraternity realises it or not, the ordinary people of Malawi use the law as they have known it from its public political application.
The use of Injunctions has been the most effective way in Malawian Courts. For if somebody wants something stopped, it does. (I wonder if I need an injunction to get paid my dues). The normal procedure for a court hearing through which I could paid, is tiresomely wrong and crazy especially while I already know what the person wants in delaying the payment. An injunction works for a day. Look, Malawi Law Society applies for an injunction, to stop the Injunction Bill from being discussed, it stops. Mmh. I should definitely try applying for an injunction and get paid. How can my case go around the courts for a whole year and additional months on top without the court managing to Summon the person for a hearing? Shame! Shame indeed! On top of that, to arrest the applicant. What!?
Clueless! It seems of its own law. Clueless! And useless! How can one think of investing in such an environment? It's a frustration to entrepreneureship.
Hey, lawyers and judges! Is the injunction the only law that can be used on all these cases that have been in the public courts? I think its your duty to advise your clients the law suitable for that particular resolution.
It is time NGO's considered teaching the bill of rights and the law itself. We are ignorant of many laws of Malawi due to lack of civic education concerning the laws. I think also the court structures should really be restructured.
The entry point of a court case should be equipped with someone very conversant and experienced in categorising court cases. Then each case will be registered with the appropriate resolution as provided by the law.
Currently, the registration clerks just write down what we tell them. Most of the times without understanding which in the end misrepresents what that particular client. People come to court tell their story expecting the person behind the desk will diagnose the problem according to the law and give an appropriate cure as provided by the law. It comes as a surprise you enter in court and the story sounds nothing like you expected. On top of that, to get a blame for their own mistakes. That's not the way it should go.
They very few people at church today. Left behind? Who knows? God. I don't have anybody missing at home. How about you?
So, here we are passed Judgement day. We dropped many sins, many of us. Are we going back to that which we considered sin and stopped? Somebody read Revelation 4:14-22 at our CYF. A warm church. Are we going to be hot or cold?
If you used to be warm and was hot pending judgement day. It is time to consider being hot. Those things you have considered sin and stopped doing, they are indeed sin as your own conscious has shown you. Time you did considered serious prayers. Starts a relationship with God. Whatever tough your sins to overcome, God says He changes the hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. However serious your sins be, they weigh the same before God. So you might as well go on repentantly pursuing the righteousness of God.
Be anxious on nothing. In everything, with prayers and thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.
Rejoice always, again I say Rejoice.
Though people have been afraid reacting to the sign posts in the city of Lilongwe or Blantyre, which says 21 May, Judgement day, by yesterday day evening, everybody didn't seem afraid but with confidence said let it come.
I am commenting at 1:18am on May 21, 2011. If this will be my last post, then it is possible that Judgement Day has occurred. If you see this, that means the world has not been destroyed but there are some people alive. It is possible, the rupture has occurred.
A scientific statement says, a habit is broken in at least 21 days. I suspect the preacher had this mind when he put the sign posts. It's a good scientific way of teaching. People don't come to God for they don't know Him. They just know what other people have said about Him. This day has allowed people to at least taste God through their repentance and living a life of no sin since the day they saw the sign posts.
It is difficult for a child who has been weaned to again go back and feed on breathing milk. It is almost senseless for those who have tasted Christ to go back to sin. For the most troublesome sin for which reason we thought always it is impossible to live in Christ, we have managed to break in the 21 days. What now remains is the Joy of living a life with God. Whether the world ends or not.
If it doesn't, or if I am not ruptured, I will post again. God bless you all. For even a Blessing is enough to break the most difficult sin. Do bless others. This world is cursed already. We just add pain to it by cursing your neighbours. For when cursed the neighbours would not be a blessing to you.
Bless others and bless yourselves. So that if cursed by others, you are still blessed in the name of The Lord.
God bless you all.
1:31am, 21 May 2011, Malawi time.
There are about 12 drafts or so of my thesis. Only two were bound. The one on 15 September, and the one on 6 October. On 6 October there is are two drafts which are indeed relatively different that can stand as two different papers.
I saw my capability. That I can write two different thesis within a day! After freezing the first copy of the day, I decided to follow and correct the mistakes he wanted me to correct. Too bad I realised this two late. Even when my mum had told me earlier that I should do this, I did not realise that I had to make correction as he goes through the thesis and points out the errors.
It's even today, 18th May, 2011 that I have seen it all the way it was. My perception of "there is something wrong in your thesis. Correct it." Meant that the content was wrong. So painstakingly changed the whole thesis and submitted it again. To which he says again, there is something wrong.
I thought, what if all this time all he wanted was to correct the misplaced comma on the first page. And while I was correcting the rest of the thesis, the content he saw was that of the last copy. Which had nothing of what I wanted to say really but the conclusion seem to be the most important word in it having moved this way and that of the knowledge I thought was wrong or right according to the Professors need to have it corrected.
So criticising the comma at the beginning, ignored the most important information which should have been seen first. It would been better if I was told the exact comma I was to correct.
But I would not have researched deeper about what I wrote if the comma had been corrected earlier.
Now my concern about criticising the trivial is: the perfection that comes is difficult to out do. All that comes next is boring.
They decided to down grade the Master of Science in Information Theory, Cryptography and Coding Theory to Master of Science in Coding Theory. Instead of offering to Engineering, Computer Science and Mathematics students, they offer it as a continuation program for mathematics majors for the Bachelor of Education Science at Mzuzu University. They are now planning to introduce a Phd in Information Theory, Cryptography and Coding which the rest of us can redo. I am wondering however if the content will be challenging enough for me having being mistaken for Phd. Graduate already?
Maybe its time I set foot on a foreign land for my Phd.
There are things that are difficult in one's field if they like a certain skill set. There are things that become equally easy for people who have a certain skill set.
These mathematicians seem to lack programming skills that is why their work becomes difficult. I saw the theses of students written before I saw I could reproduce their results independently with one piece of code. Just changing the code's parameters. Why should year after year have to rewrite the program and generate similar results for a thesis when they can be generated concurrently with on piece of code in one day and run as long as the computer is able to process them even yearly.
No wonder the girl scored distinction. She is a computer scientist (and a born genius of course).
Now I had this problem, from the results I had generated, I could say and give better explanations about the results the rest of theses were getting and I could write my whole thesis commenting on their theses where they are lacking where they are not. I noticed the results I put in my second controversial section where the codes Khumbo Kumwenda find. What would I write then in my thesis? For it would be taken as though I have copied their content for my thesis. Too little new to write about.
The only problem there was the confusing definition of non-trivial automorphism groups of Goppa codes. With that set right, these coding theorists would find their own way forward. Plus they needed a peace of code to work with. That's a bonus my thesis carried.
So that's it! And a Professor in Italy mistook me for a Phd. Graduate. He knew of course I had now graduated. He address me:
Dear Dr. Hara,
And blah, blah, here...
It felt good! Maybe I should keep the title. What does the world think?
After all I have an unofficial Phd. In all sorts of things. I have been waiting for wikiversity.org to start certifying their scholars so I can get my Doctorates.
The business page of Friday April 29, 2011 daily times, has a comment from Solair Corporation. Which attributes the importation of cheap materials to taking out of duty of solar equipment. The truth is, when the genuine is not available, people will still buy the good that is available.
The public should know this. Solair is too small to supply to the whole country genuine Solair equipment. What should necessarily be encouraged is the sensitization of the public what genuine solar equipment is, if macra, mbs cannot do this civil education alone, organizations live NICE have this commission to educate such issues to the nation. Such organization can train young unemployed youth through volunteerism, to do this civil education to the public as long as they have some allowances for upkeep than to have to steal or vend the same fake/cheap solar equipment.
If it is for Malawi, let us do this its for our own good.
It is not only cheap solar equipment, but there are a vast electronic equipment that it far less energy efficient being sold on the market that would render the Escom's Energy Efficient Lighting Project useless.
It is easier and cheaper to empower people with such knowledge so that they sort out the differences themselves, while at the same time, encourage even these youth getting loans in YDEF, to invest in solar equipment at all levels, training, supply and installation. Such youth are a treasure to our nation and would the government would do much good to continue to invest in educating and empowering even encouraging as many donors possible to train these youth without limit. Such aid is beneficial to our land.
I wrote once that my thesis should have been about how I overcame but I had to write something academic.
Does faith and knowledge go together? Very much so. For it is also said, faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God.
Can knowledge alone save someone? God says, my people perish for lack of knowledge. And if they knew what the will of God is, God would not have sent His Son, for by doing the will of God, they world have been saved. But nobody knew and they did perish for the battles we fight on earth are indeed greater than us. We fight against beings greater than us and we overcome only by His help.
In Acts 17, Paul tells the curious Athenians that God has put us in places and times as we live in that we may seek him and find him. Though we live on earth all these things as we acquire on earth, we will leave behind, for we have somewhere better to be indeed. Why then do we go to school and learn things such as we learn? For knowledge is also important for our salvation and for that of others. For some of the things as we learn help us in overcoming some of the battles we face on earth. Thus I said, I fought something in 2001, all that I learned even through the masters degree I have obtained helped me overcome.
What is mental illness? A delusion it is. There are compartments of these delusions which exist for various reasons as a person meets in life and there is none so difficult that one cannot recover. All of them are healable. How possible? The truth shall set you free. For a delusion is but a lie. To understand the difference between the lie and the truth and believe the truth is the barrier that we fail to break free from mental illness and indeed any bondage or sin, to our salvation and to the healing of mental illness as well. Some lies are strong indeed like a blindness that fails us to see something that is as close as our noses can reach.
The course of cryptography teaches various principles of detecting the authenticity of a message or someone we are communicating with.
There are such principles as deniability, authenticity, and security. Deniability is where one does something and refuses to have done it. How can one make sure that who ever did this thing would not deny later to have done it? What proof? Such is a question cryptography tries to answer. How can one know that the person I am communicating with, is who he claims he is? In case he is not how can I still ensure I or the intended person is still safe from such communication? Such are authenticity problems cryptography tries to answer. How can a deluded person break free from delusion? It is easy with support of a community one lives in but not easy alone.
From where I have been, I should say, all the processes people have assumed to be a solution to mental illness are the same that lead to delusion. For if you tell someone that what he sees in front of him is blue not green, and you push it so hard on his mind to the point of punishing him if he believes otherwise, you find that person will consider to be green everything that is blue. And it does takes only one word to say, this person is mentally ill for a whole community to believe. And the new community takes over adding to his delusion in the same way.
A child is born without knowledge of what is right and what is wrong, what is blue or what is green. Teach a mentally ill person how to live. He will live and be normal. It takes love and patience. Some have treated the mentally ill as one would treat animals, as animals indeed they would behave. Treat them as any normal person, normal they will be. Treat them as children, like children the will be. Treat them with respect, respectable they will be. Such is life.
Lie to them, lies they will believe as anybody else person they would believe. Re-educate them what is and what is not, indeed they would be that. Protect them from lies.
I have spoken a lot of things on this blog. There are some truths the world seems to have forgotten so much that it was surprising to see that people don't know.
It's only because I had to relearn the truth of what is and what is not from all the delusion I learned from those who have thought to delude was the way to treat the mentally ill.
It might be surprising to some to really know today that I have really never been mentally ill. When you doctors say epileptic ceasure, such words as epilepsy are what guardians know. To you its a technical term that's far from mental illness, to the guardian its way too much into mental illness. I wonder who coined these words.
I was fasting for my brother who very sick at the time. And I fainted for lack of energy. And fainting passed through many mouths became epilepsy and epilepsy through many mouths, became mental illness and I watched the whole process of delusion overcame some but was helpless to save the believable evidence of what was going on and keep this evidence to redeem myself.
I regarded the circumstances in which I found myself at Mzuzu University doing this cryptography course and manage to go through only to discover that Mzuzu University had kept no record of my scholarship all along.
A work of God, I graduated with credit and some professor called me Dr. Hara after reviewing my thesis. I have always believed my thesis deserved a high grade than it got. It was one of the only two considered for publication. The other one being being of a girl who scored distinction. I have to send that manuscript.
By the way, I seem to owe Mzuzu University nothing, though I have asked so many times what I owe it for me to plan and seek repayment. I thank God for that. I still have no record of how much was paid though, nor does the accounts, though my sponsor seems to have paid a lot than he should have.
However for this discrepancy of their own, they seem to have told my sponsor something bad to an extent my sponsor does not in anyway want associate with me anymore and because of his disappointment, my professor as well being the one who sort the sponsorship, looks at me with a certain disregard. Who will believe a mentally ill person, they say. I cannot suffer for the wrongs I have not done.
If somebody says, Mzuzu University is bankrupt I would not doubt it. They disappointed a lot of sponsors. It's not easy to find people like Professor Davis who year after year, he would come with a little something more to support the university from sports to academics.
I guess they should really learn to live by their motto. Service, Self-reliance and Perfection. Otherwise, it an empty forgotten word for their students.
For its value, look at what Phwezi's motto has done me, accept the challenge, God will guide. It has taught me a faith that can move mountains. Given me a courage to write a thesis that an Italian Professor mistook me for a Phd. Graduate after reviewing my thesis. An area I didn't have clue!
Just days ago, I rode in the same bus with a student from Mzuzu University. They were supposed to open college but the university has no money. The Mzuzu University bankruptcy I heard from people in a computer cafe while I was having some news article and ad that I would need photocopied.
I have met another student from Mzuzu University, he doesn't know when they will go back to school. I once rode in the same vehicle with librarian at Mzuzu, the accounts seems to have problems and were auditing. The pay was late, and this guy was blaming the government's new payroll system. Adding salt to the wounds so that Bingu should go, they say.
Of course there is this homosexual issue which the homosexual ngo executive does not want to participate in this human rights thing. Probably he has seen the need to protect his own people from such a cultural erosion.
You know, if one has a definition of good governance and another has a different definition, they will always go in separate ways when told to promote good governance. Does the world know what our president defines good governance to be?
Empowering Women + Empowering the Youth + Empowering the Elderly + Empowering men.
Since that covers the whole demography of the population that is Malawi, it is in effect,
Empowering his people.
What has done to achieve this: from the very onset adding on the fertilizer subsidy which has already been a curse of multi-party democracy in Malawi and human rights and economic liberalisazition, he has encouraged people to get at least K200 for fixing their own local roads. This K200 to buy maize seed, which after seeing themselves hoe the roads, are encouraged to weed their own maize farms which the were taught they have a right not to weed.
Of course, everybody has a right to fold his hands and sleep. But proverbs truly says poverty comes in like a thief and steals everything one has.
So the dug the roads, found that they can dig their farms as well. And did they cultivate from the from the same subsidy and little fertilizer they received before and what a bumper yeald there was!
So here we are, suspects do get questioned everywhere when something gets wrong. God knows how many suspects have been short in their own home land and guantanamo bay to reveal the compound bin laden has lived for ten whole years until he died. Phew! The world thought war on terror is over. But we don't seem to have a breather yet. I wonder when it shall come. For terror is a very terrible emotion. You don't even where the fear is coming from. You can destroy everything around and remain alone. You will find you are still afraid of the dark.
So, good governance the President of Malawi empowering his people to be self sufficient and not to be dependent on donors. But strive to feed themselves. The youth, the first batch has received their cut. Please bwezani nsanga so that the rest of us can also start own business.
The women have been empowered to have this distinguished lady Joyce Banda. Who for her own name has proved herself very capable and would be leader to help than selfishly squander the nation's treasure like some have had in the previous 10 years. Putting this lady up there as a pillars and example to women. You too can. And do emulate indeed. For your individual failure is indeed your own. Politically they who have been jealous of the good things done, have tried this way and that creating a lie here or there to find fault with the leadership of these two who already have nothing to lose but the welfare of the people the lead and protect if they let go of their seats. You hear now, Joyce Banda has registered his party, you here later Joyce Banda's yet to be registered party has been deserted together with UDF, DPP and want Atupele Muluzi to be their party president. I wonder if UDF has also deserted itself, what party is Atupele Muluzi will lead having expressed his interest. Aren't people ashamed to create such lies? Apa ndiye zavutatu.
So here is the aftermath. The students are at home from college and don't know when they are going back.
Who will call them back? The lecturers? They don't want until they are assured academic freedom exists. Is it being denied by the lecturers themselves already?
Shall the government? The court's injuction has not been lifted for the good governing presidents directive to be listened to.
Shall the university council? The court's injuction to stop them from calling back the lecturers has not been lifted.
Should the university council and the president act in contempt of court to call back the lecturers? In humble opinion they can. The court does not seem to have a clue what its own law says. They throw injuctions everywhere, where can one tread with all these injuctions through all over.
They don't even seem to know what contempt of court is. Look they have the audacity of arresting a complainant instead of him who has refused to listen to a court summons? Stupid! Is the word I wanted to say, but God says don't call anybody stupid. Though Kamuzu Banda call the stupid federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland stupid and won us our independence.
Look what our president is teaching. Don't destroy our good culture for which Malawi is called the Warm Heart of Africa. Malawi has good things which the whole Africa does not seem to have. It's warm heart. Don't destroy it by allowing these violent people stump their dirty shoes on the warm heart. It's very delicate and very vital. The heart is. That is why it enclosed behind a cage of ribs and just that, hidden behind a hard stenum.
Our laws protect us from such as would want to destroy us. Change not our laws for your convenience to indulge in sins we do not commit. If need be, shew off indeed. We don't need such money as prostitution of men and men. We have illegalised prostitution of men and women already, why should we legalize the worse kind of prostitution? For at least a pretence of men and women prostitution, enabled Tamara to have an offspring through whom we have Jesus. But look, it was only a pretence of but not prostitution itself. Do not make us to see sins we abhor! We will vomit indeed. If we do vomit in your face, don't be offended nor punish us. For what you call good governance, is bad governance for our land.
Look, no human rights was broken but we saved ourselves from manipulation from those who would indeed harm our children for old men are strong and wiser to not do such acts with them that bring it. But though children are wise, they are not strong to fight big men from this wicked abuse.
Don't send us such people if you do love the people of Malawi. There are better people who can do the same good job. Don't put conflict where there should be none. Unless you do intend to provoke. Don't complain when you do get a sting of young and small Malawi. Being peaceful and kind does not mean in anyway that we are weak. Don't shame yourself by bullying a small Malawi. It's flame burns hotter!
So Malawi, you wanted academic freedom. You have it and your children are home. They don't know when they will go back to school. Here is the truth: I have a masters degree, I have no job today. Who shall employ you children who don't even have a first degree? Look you have a president who wants to build five universities so that every Malawian can have a quality education. Do you know with the money in your personal pockets you can build even more universities in Malawi? Even 29! One for every district? Just tell him, he will be more than happy to support such an initiative. After 2014, you don't know what kind of person will lead Malawi. He might want to destroy all the roads that have been built. And indeed destroy the nsanje port which is still young. And would want every foundation that has been laid for the five university to be erased from memory. Just to spite the President.
I should tell you now Malawi. If a person like Bingu had a choice to still achieve his desire, he would build a university for his own people at ndata than worst time arguing with a people that is too stubborn not to receive the help of somebody who wants to help it. Or even to help itself for that matter.
Look, academic freedom. You kids are home and don't know when they will get back to school. If they will get a job, its because the employer is looking for cheap labour.
All this work I have done on this site. All this knowledge, given for free? How do we define volunteering again? Is it cheap labour? One can do something with his own hands for free it benefits at least those he loves. It is cruel to expect one who has already done much for free to be expected to do more for free when he has no income. It's ingratitude so to say.
Send your children back to school. Tell the university council to find them lecturers who can teach them. The university council has not been barred from finding other lecturers. Maybe I can find a job as a lecturer as well. It seems its the same lecturers who have chosen to recognize the knowledge I can share with this generation and get paid for it that are in the forefront to not want to teach. Give us room. Test the sting on unemployment. Maybe instead of creating a curriculum that suite the industry's desire for obedient slaves you can create a curriculum a that empowers each student to survive without employment. Such students are the ones who can create companies which can compete with Airtel both here in Malawi and right in their home in India. Do we want this Malawi?
It begins with you.
The mid 50's got themselves on a new hobby: movies. It was a nice feeling watching romantic ones as it is nice to watch the English Premiere League these days. Romance sold a lot and always topped box office. I guess for obvious reasons. The curiosity for the goodies that are found in marriage. Real life is normal if you push it towards the trends, it ceases to be normal. So pushed towards the trends it was. Parents and good people having seen the goodies in the goodies films of Friday evenings encouraged their young ones to date at the theatres. So life goes, marketers go after the trends as well. So began pushing the world towards abnormal to sale more.
Kids are clueless. What parents encourage, they follow. So they followed and followed and did they follow. But in real life what they learned to be true, wasn't. It does not exist anyway. What is AIDS, what is HIV? Around this time it also existed. Why, people did not find it taboo to have one night stands. Real love doesn't exist. Taught the actors for their own love did not exist as well. What is love? Can one cheat on their husband and still be loved? Can a husband watch another man have it with his wife and still love her because all that she was doing was just work? Of course money pays, marketers marketed in this country where marketers have been lazy to the extent of changing laws putting real lives of people in jeopardy to sale a bottle of coke. What? Just a bottle? A whole human life for a bottle of coke? Love, let's set the trends let others follow. Have you seen your necklace? It's in trendy these days. Have you seen the Romans? Everybody else in the world do what they do. The world is hungry for Romans. Do you know what the Romans do? They conform their minds after the will of God.
Let's go back to the Bible and set the trends for the world.
We can not act like the world does. We will go Mr & Mrs Smith way. Dodging bullets. Wanna go on the dance flow and learn to tango on the fly? You never know when the world calls for you to teach it a lesson, you know. Ready in season and out of season. And dodging bullets of the devil. I tell you if you do it with and for God, the devil gets attacks from a thousand dimensions. And finds no where to run. Such is life and joy as God can give.
Hollywood: you can't put a mouse in front of cheese and expect it not to eat. Here in Malawi we put groundnuts where Hollywood puts cheese. The result is the same.
Sexual attraction has no hero. Joseph had to run away. But look where it got him into? In prison. Does it stop there? It got him up and up and up. He became the vice president of Egypt. And Egypt ruled the world at that time. It was the only country which had food[let not the world buy food from us at so cheap a price, let not fao buy so much, disappear with it and sell it to us. If they set tobacco prices, let's set the maize prices. It's not cheap to cultivate. This is our time.]
You never know where each road leads to until you get there. But it is true all roads lead to Rome. They were built by Romans anyway why should they not lead to Rome? But not everyone who travels a road get to Rome.
By the way if all roads lead to Rome how do you get there if you are in Hollywood? At least if you in Bollywood or Mollywood, you can go their by road. Even us in Malawi can get there because we don't have to cross the ocean. Look, love, Hollywood crosses the ocean to get real love. We don't have to. We just walk to Rome. We are much better.
And of those going to Rome, some people get stuck in the loop of the maze. Roam, roam, roam will they roam and never get to Rome. Where is Rome? You need a map sometimes. There are many maps you say? Depends on where you are going.
Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No body gets to heaven but by me". How many maps are there did you say?
So here goes a test of faiths: What am I doing on this path? Where does this path go? Will I recognize what I must find there?
When in Rome, do what Romans do. What do Romans do? If you don't know, you will find yourself in Venice and sell your soul. For there are some cities in which people sell their souls. I must tell you this secret so that you may know what to find and do in Rome:
Paul a Servant of Jesus, as I also strive to be, told the Romans, "I beseech thee brethren, by the mercies of God, that Ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable before God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to the standards of the world: but be Ye transformed to this renewing of your mind, that Ye may prove what is that good and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
That got them the word of approval so much that it was said, when in Rome do what Romans do.
P/S: Paul preached and worked. I like his wisdom of working and serving. I would like to work for my living and preach with no strings attached.
I am sure good jobs exist that don't give such a taxing time. Lecturing is one of them. I have sort this lecturing job way too long. It would do itself good to come and find me home.
I mean, for all that I can do and have learned and practiced, why should I fail to have a single job?
For sleeping and eating and preaching and teaching things you know with all the time in the world, is way too easy a job for one not to one to resist. But look no-one is paying me. How do I buy bread for my family? Better a little job than handouts.
Still I have stayed here for too long. God knows when I shall move on.
Matthew 6:9-15 NIV
"This, then, is how you should pray:
"'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name, your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.' For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
The prayer first calls upon our creator who is indeed our father. For we all are but his children all of us created by him. Among us are some who are but weeds among the wheat. Such on the Father in heaven knows. We go into much strife because of such as who are weeds. Be mindful of this and check your own direction. Turn back from such as you have been following. Dwell on the word of
God for wisdom and guidance. Proverbs teach the right way of loving. There are teachings of prophets, apostles, Jesus such as which would give direction for personal faith in God. As literal as the word is written so it will be of much help.
For there has been confusing interpretations and therefore much controversy, it is wise to take your own time and personally read in seclusion. As you read a novel, go through it, you will catch things of so much interest and will want to study in detail. Gather as much truth as you can. Shield yourself of thoughts that have confused you for so long. Gather as much truth to shield you of subsequent controversy. Go back to it as much as often.
People will see this change in you, for all of a sudden you become somebody of a different thought and almost always angry at what you see that is wrong. Take these times as opportunity to preach and teach the truths you have known.
Give us our daily bread. Spiritual food, in terms of the word of God, to have the hunger to read it.
Forgives us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Such is how we reconcile with God. And this reconciliation, includes reconciling with those who have wronged. For you can't say that you love God if you don't love your neighbours. For when God loves us, he expects us to love our neighbours as well. The world lacks love. Such is what God brings buy teaching us to love with his love. Do good therefore to others. Forgive as you also have been forgiven.
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
It does not increase our faith to demand to be tempted, for we are under attack already. So much that we outweigh ourselves by extra temptations.
God allows sometimes to pass through temptations when we are about to fight a battle it is to teach us how to overcome such battles ourselves and for those we would help.
Sometimes it is enough for us to learn from his deliverance from evil and use this to help deliver others from same evil. For you always know the paths that led you into the way of evil and harm. You can now go and teach others not to take the same path or at least warn of the dangers in the path, and how to overcome each danger as you learned when you yourself were delivered.
Such is a prayer of communion with our father in heaven, a prayer of provision for our needs, a prayer of repentance, a prayer of deliverance from evil.
God bless as you keep in prayer.